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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with the best coffee? Yeah, that one. I grab my usual – a double espresso, no sugar. I need that jolt, ya know? But guess what? They ran out of beans! Like, how do you run out of coffee beans? I’m standing there, fuming. I mean, c’mon, it’s not rocket science!

21-year-old Ukrainian soldier, Maksym Yarmoliuk, killed in Russian missile attack on Zaporizhzhia